Thursday, October 29, 2009

52 more days, two more anxiety-ridden flights.

jeff and i fly back and forth to each other once a month. since the fall semester has started, jeff has graciously sacrificed some of his time off because my school schedule leaves me stressed out and anxious to fly. really, i shouldn't blame my anxiety on school. since beginning graduate school, the Lord has revealed himself and 'shown up' in multiple ways.
  • my older brother, zak, stepped up and dealt with my dad's relapse within the first week of graduate school. dad has been sober over a year, now.
  • i got engaged to the man of my dreams, a man who sincerely loves the lord. it was the most wonderful and romantic experience of my life.
  • there has been an abundant amount of healing and restoration in my relationship with my dad and my brothers
  • although i thought jeff and i were going to have a uber-small, uber-cheap wedding, our parents have financially blessed us and have allowed us to have the wedding of our dreams (still small, but by choice!)
  • my school scheduled allowed jeff and i to be married in december
  • i received an internship in new york city. without knowing any speech language pathologists in new york city, the lord blessed me with some wonderful people who diligently worked to find me a placement.
  • our school finals schedule was supposed to go until December 22 (2 days after our wedding!) i prayed that the lord would somehow intervene and change this schedule and he was faithful. our finals end december 10 (ten days before our wedding!)
  • jeff and i faithfully prayed for an apartment in new york city. we found one. a great one.
  • the lord has continuously strengthened my relationship with jeff's parents. when i prayed for my husband, i would also pray that i would have a good relationship with his parents. the lord was faithful.

i feel truly blessed. why am i still 'freaking out' about things that the lord will handle? i freak out about wedding details, my classes, the marriage licsense, changing my name, getting a teaching certificate in new york.....honestly, i need to LET IT GO!

tomorrow, i fly to nyc. before flights, i am always anxious - not about the plane crashing, but it actually taking off on time. i know, bizarre. my fear is a lack of faith in the lord's plan and goodness. "do not be anxious about anything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, present your requests to the lord. and the peace of god, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ jesus" (phillipians 4:7.) once i let go of this anxiety, and hand it back over to the lord, THEN, and only then, can the peace of the Lord cover me.

i'll post some pics of nyc soon.
much love.

1 comment:

  1. Don't worry about changing your name - it's really easy! It's a tedious process, but I found that everyone was extremely helpful and excited for me. Plus you'll be in a new state and you'll have to get a new license anyway - 2 birds with one stone!

    I was super stressed out about all the details of the wedding, but the day of I just let it all go. And you know what? Everything went as planned, and everything looked great. God has provided wonderful people in your life who love you, they'll take care of the little things for you so you can concentrate on Jeff!

    Love you cuz!