Sunday, October 11, 2009

stuck in the middle with you...

so, if you know me, you know that i may have two of the most handsome men as brothers (see pic below). growing up, i was always the 'goodie-two-shoes' child...we are all SO different... i'm over-sensitive, emotional, 'keep it together' kind of girl... zak is a businessman - a salesperson - who can talk you into (or out of) anything. pete (or, as i call him, retep) is by far the 'smartest' of us - i was always a little jealous of him. i would spend hours studying for a class or an exam to get an A, while pete would stay up all night without studying and still pull off a better grade them me (darn you, pete!) zak is an excellent guitarist, pete can sing his way into any young woman's heart. i tried to play piano when i was little, and failed. miserably.

i think our parents raised us 'equally', but somehow we ended up so different. god is so funny in how he creates each of us an individuals. one thing that i love and cherish is my relationship with the lord. retep and zak did both grow up in the church with me, but just aren't feeling it. if i were being honest with myself, i would say that my greatest desire is for my brothers to deeply love and know jesus christ. nothing can satisfy their (or anyones!) deepest emotional needs and their 'daddy' wounds. i'm not judging retep and zak - i love them just the way they are - but just know they could be more fulfilled. i can share the gospel with anyone on the street, in my class, friend....but for some reason it's so much harder with them - why is that? maybe it's this childhood longing to be loved by them (we weren't 'best friends' growing up). i don't know. it's pretty discouraging.

anyways, retep and zak are playing guitar/singing for our ceremony. i feel so blessed to have such talented brothers that will be singing me down the aisle :)

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