i had a really tough time deciding where to go to graduate school. sometimes i wonder how i ended up at wayne state. jeff decided to go back to nyc after graduation (in april of 2008) and i somehow got accepted in NYU's program. i think sometimes god offers us a lot of really good choices so we can learn to listen to his voice. i had a sneaky plan: go to nyu and get married really fast to jeff (living in the same city would have sped up the process, right?) well, in doing that, i would have quickly drowned myself into about $120,000 of debt (nyc is a very expensive place to live and attend graduate school.) i thought that if i decided to go to wayne state (or emu, or wmu, or msu) that my relationship with jeff would be doomed. the lord had a different plan from me.
after deciding on going to wayne state, i received every scholarship imaginable from emu. seriously!? i had just declined the offer, and THEN they started sending me scholarships?! did i make the wrong decision?! wayne state does have a better, clinical program...but school for free sounded nice. yet, i felt peace with my decision to go to wayne state. it was almost overwhelming.
at the beginning of every semester/every college i have attended (yes, i have attended 4) my prayer has been that the Lord would put women in my life that i could share christ's love with. he was always faithful - i always had a couple of women in my classes or bible study that were so damaged by unhealthy relationships with men, abuse, addictions.....little did i know what the lord had planned with my friendship with lilly (ok, i changed her name just in case she doesn't want her business all over my blog). in october of 2008 (about 1 month into school), i was walking with lilly back to our cars after a long day of class. lilly looked at me and said, 'last year, i prayed that god would bring a christian friend into my life during graduate school. look! he answered my prayer with you!" this is when i knew: lilly was the reason why the lord placed me at wayne state.
at the beginning of our friendship, i thought that i would be pouring into lilly, sharing christ with her....yet, at this point (1 year later), lilly has taught me more than i have taught her...guaranteed.
lilly understands what it means to fully forgive someone and receive forgiveness. i still cannot grasp this. i am still struggling with bitterness towards my dad as a result of his addictions. i struggle to embrace forgiveness from people i've wronged. in our daily lives at school, this understanding of forgiveness has pierced my heart with conviction. here is a beautiful young woman who lives out christ's forgiveness in her relationships with her family, friends and fiancee. i have grown up in the church, with christian parents, with only christian friends, and am still SO hesitant to forgive. what a sin! SHE GETS IT! isn't this what being a christ-follower is about?
it will be so sad to leave my dear friend, my sister in the lord, but now understand why the lord led me to wayne state.
much love.
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